Tonight, as I watch the radar with storms approaching, I hear girlie having a seizure about every 10 to 15 minutes. She is having electrical storms in her brain, one after another, and between each one she has slept.
I can’t for the life of me figure out what God is doing in all this. How is it that my brain can handle approaching storms but girlie’s can’t? What is God’s plan in all this? Is it all so random and chaotic like the storm? Or is there something, something down the road I just can’t see yet? I kinda want to know, you know? Like if I could just see, have small tiny glimmer of the purpose, this might be just a tiny bit easier.
But it also might not …. What if I thought His purpose wasn’t worth the cost? If I could see the purpose, I could also weight the cost and benefit. I would want fairness, justice and equality in it all.
It is in these times I feel even smaller and more limted.
Which brings me to girlie’s life verse, the one given to her by grandparents in her early hard days: Jeremiah 29:11. God has plans for girlie, plans for good, for a future, and for hope. This verse comes in the very middle of a letter Jeremiah sent to the only surviving leaders of the Jews after they were sent in to exile. It comes directly after being told the Jews have to wait 70 years before they can go home, and directly before verses talking about seeking God and God alone through prayers, earnest seeking after God’s heart.
Kind of like Jeremiah was giving them something to hold on to during the hard waiting. Someone to hold on to. A way to know there is purpose, just they might not get to see it. 70 years was, especially back then, a generation after the ones that actually went in to exile. They wouldn’t see the hope, the future, the plan. The next generation would.
Because, in truth, this is really all about Him. Just Him.
It is not about girlie. It is not about me.
“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12