For years, probably more than 10 years, since girlie began having Tuesday therapies, I have never had to worry about the weather on Tuesdays.
If rain was in the forecast, I knew it would not be raining when I took girlie to therapy and home again. God always stopped the rain. Even if it was just a break in the clouds, there would be no rain for the coming and going.
But today … it is raining on a Tuesday. It isn’t just sprinkling, it is pouring.
Why isn’t God holding the rain back for she and I today? Where did that extra grace, specific grace go? Where did the blessing of girlie and her things staying dry on Tuesdays go?
God’s grace, general, has not left because the specific grace with rain may be gone.
God’s grace for girlie is still there. God’s grace for me is still there.
Humanly, I wonder what have I done wrong? What have I done to remove God’s hand?
God does not work that way. I can’t do something, say something for His hand to be removed from girlie and I. He never stops loving, never stops caring, never stops. God is faithful.
Same with the seizures
Girlie was seizure free for 10 years. Once the ketogenic diet was adjusted perfectly for her, seizures stopped and did not return until she hit puberty. Her body and brain are developing at a rapid pace, causing the seizures to return.
God’s grace, love, concern has not left just because the seizures are back.
I can’t manipulate God. I can’t stop the rain, I can’t stop the seizures. He can. He can if He chooses. God is sovereign. He controls all, He has the ultimate power.
Maybe the rain isn’t held back any more because we have a cool new poncho, loaned to us by big brother, that covers girlie, her things, and her chair.
Maybe the rain isn’t held back any more because mom can handle it, a little bit more than she could have in the past. Maybe mom has a wee bit more emotional strength for the challenge.
Maybe girlie’s seizures have returned because God has a plan even in the pressure cooker.
The main thing is, the WHY does not matter any more. The TRUST in the One who is sovereign does.
Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving;
Sing praises to our God on the lyre,
Who covers the heavens with clouds,
Who provides rain for the earth,
Who makes grass to grow on the mountains.
He gives to the beast its food,
And to the young ravens which cry.
He does not delight in the strength of the horse;
He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man.
The Lord favors those who fear Him,
Those who wait for His lovingkindness. Psalm 147:7-11