heaven and me and the girlie

There are so many things girlie can’t do.

Among the top ones –

girlie can’t walk

girlie can’t talk

mostly she can’t interact with others

and she can’t play with and love her family

All those “can’ts” belong HERE on this earth in this time she is in her earthly body.

If God chooses, He can heal her now on this earth in this body.

But so far, He has chosen not to heal her.

Many years ago, I spent hours bargaining with God to heal her.

“God I’ll give up …. if you heal her.”

“God I’ll stop … if you make her mind whole.”

“God I’ll let go of … if you stop the seizures.”

Bargaining – giving up something for something I want more.

God does not want my bargaining, He does not want what I can trade Him.

He just wants me and girlie, focused on HIm.

I hold out girlie in my arms and say “She is Yours.  You can use her just like she is. She is perfect in Your eyes.”

But, while God can use her like she is here on earth. I SOOOO look forward to heaven.

I want to hear her laugh at her daddy’s jokes (they are the best dad jokes EVER).

I want to hear her thoughts on anything and everything, spoken out loud to me.

I want to see her run and play.

I want to look her in the eyes and she in my eyes, with understanding and love, a look of knowing that the other is cherished, and known, just known.

I want to see her jump into her daddy’s arms.

I want to see her hug her brothers and kiss them back for all the thousands of kisses they have given her.

I want to see her whisper funny jokes in her brothers ears, all the ones that God has been telling her every day.

I want to see the crying stop, the pain stop, the sadness stop.

They will.

All of those things will end.

Revelation 21 states that the old heavens and the old earth will pass away, and there will be a new heaven and a new earth where there “will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away” (21:4 NASB)

Oh how I long for that time and place.

But, in the present, in the now, I wait and I watch and I feel.

Revelation 21:5 “Behold I am making all things new.”


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