I love questions.
I am a very curious person, just ask my parents. My favorite word was “why” for many years.
Some questions show curiosity and teachability.
I welcome those honest questions.
I want people to understand and know about girlie. I want people to ask.
Some questions just don’t.
Some questions add burden, guilt, and emotional pain.
Why do people question a mom?
I have lived and breathed girlie’s care for 13 years.
I have memorized all her medicines and dosages
I have memorized doctor’s names and phone numbers
I have memorized insurance card information
I have memorized her schedule
I have memorized seizure information, duration, intensity, and frequency.
I have memorized formula, daily food construction (yes a lot goes in to that)
I have memorized therapist’s information – names, contact info, important things to do with girlie daily
I have memorized girlie’s likes and dislikes
I have memorized all of her mannerisms and movements, and almost know what they mean, lol.
I have memorized every detail of girlie’s day.
I have researched and researched and researched, and keep researching.
I keep my ears open and stayed networked for any new thing.
Why have I memorized these things? FROM USE! I have used all this information so often, that it has become rote memorization.
Why the researching and networking? Because I am the mom, it is my passion, my children are my passion.
Yet, people still question so many things.
The biggest problem is the assumption of lack of competence (mine and girlie’s too, but that is a subject matter for another day), because my name does not have letters after it, or certificates attached to it.
Any idea how insulting it is to be questioned about something you have invested YOUR ENTIRE life in?
It is like a football-watching passionate fan, trying to tell a professional football player how to play the game.
JUST DON”T DO IT.
Don’t question a mom, especially a special needs mom. Let her know you support her, and trust her intuitions, but don’t question her.
God put her there in that place and she actually knows what is best.
I have a sweet friend who cuts girlie and I’s hair, and gives me some awesome hair color from time to time. She has told me more than once that God bestows special discernment on a mom specifically for her children, in knowing what is best for them and what isn’t, not knowing the future necessarily, but discernment about safety, school, friends, and overall care.
That is a huge gift from God, especially for moms. I am so thankful for that!
Don’t undermine or undercut the gift that God has bestowed upon a mom.
Cultivate the gift, honor the gift, and celebrate the gift.
God is good and he gives good gifts. I am thankful for the gifts he has bestowed on me for my children.
“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” James 1:17