the dead list

Girlie and I have started taking Wednesday nights as “girl only” nights, while the boys have their activities for the evening.

She and I rarely get to choose a television show, as we rarely have the remote, lol.  So, on Wednesdays we have started watching “speechless“.

At first we started watching out of curiosity, as aren’t we “supposed” to watch it, since girlie has special needs to?  But, the more we watched, the more I came to adore the characters and family.

On one of the earlier episodes, the new aide brings home pizza for the family dinner, only to find out that the family does not eat pizza from THAT pizzeria because they refused service to their special needs son.  Much to the aide’s surprise, the family has an ENTIRE list (which they proceed to write on the wall) of places they do not go, things they do not do, it is called the “dead list.”

This episode totally resonated with me.  I have a “list”.  I have places, people, and things that I avoid because of how my family and girlie were treated.  Now I have never written down this list, it just stays in the back of my head.  It is part of my being limited – I can’t, on my own strength, keep doing and being near those places and people that have caused pain and hurt, the hard places.  As a family with a special needs child, my list can get quit long at times.

Do you have a list?  Are there places, people, events, that trigger emotions, and you think I just can’t go there?

Does God have a list?  Does he decide to write off people, businesses, groups?

Genesis 1:27-28, and verse 31:   God made man in HIS image, God blessed them, and God saw all that He made and it was very good.  Nope, God does not have list.  In fact, as creator, He loves his creation.

Later on in that episode of “speechless“, all the kids had their own plans for the evening, the mom decides to treat the dad to all of those “dead list” items.  She decides to do this because she loves him, and as a gift to him.

When I can let God get rid of “the list” items, when I can value others as people with both good and bad qualities, and limited just like me, I can experience true forgiveness (not hurting in return for my hurt).  And it is an act of worship for my savoir.

Worship is a “feeling or expression of reverence”.  I can lay my list at the feet of Christ as an expression of reverence, and say “God I am limited, but please use my list for Your glory.”

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