“But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”” Genesis 3:4-5 (ESV)
Satan trys to sell the same old lies, “agreements” as John Eldredge calls them.
Satan generates a statement, and gets me to agree to it, and then repeats it over and over again until it becomes a mantra, life statement.
“You will be like God” = Satan is still trying to get agreement to that one, he stirs it up in our minds and hearts. Can we really be like God?
We still hear the lie passed around “God never gives us more than we can handle.”
Um, hello, I am here to say THAT is not true. I have more than I can handle every single day.
These agreements happen to this special needs mom. Special needs parents are looked at as “super humans”, “special parents for special kids”, and sometimes I start agreeing with those lies and start repeating them to myself: “I can do this” leads to “I’ve got this” which leads to ”I don’t need anyone else” and “I don’t need God” and finally “I can be like God”.
Every single one of us is a “limited” creation. We can each only handle so much. And the amount that I can handle depends on the day, my energy level, my emotional state, my spiritual state, my prayer life, etc.
Diaper changes: girlie is in puberty, her legs fly around in the air due to limited control of those muscles, and every morning she is drenched because of being fed overnight by pump and having a large amount of medicines before going to school. Lately, I have gotten kicked or kneed when trying to do changes. She hates being wet and dirty and is already aggravated because I have awakened her from beauty sleep (she loves her sleep, ok what girl doesn’t?, I don’t like anyone waking me up).
My emotions get raw, cut deep, every single time.
I don’t have the strength for this. I just don’t have it.
But, isn’t that where God wants me? He wants me to realize that I am and always will be limited. He created me that way. He created me limited. He created me with the strengths and weaknesses I have.
But that does not mean I can “give up”, but it is for me to realize God is saying “please come to me”. This is His invitation, “come to me, you can’t deal with this, you just can’t, but I can, and I will, and I always have”. “Come to me”
Isn’t that just what God wants? the full surrender of my very limited self:
It is a daily practice, it is a daily surrender, AND it is a every single day.